Influence for Success
by
Bill OÕMara PhD
A huge part of any
leaderÕs journey is their ability to influence others elegantly and
ethically. Each and every day we influence bosses, peers, associates,
vendors, customers, other leaders, our kidsÉ. Even ourselves! According
to noted Harvard professor John Kotter, Influence is what leadership is all
about- to influence, inspire, motivate, sell, enlighten, coach, pull out the
best in people. How many times per day do you influence? How well
are you doing it? How important we communicate masterfully here because
so much hinges on our ability to influence well.
The challenge is when
we are busy or letÕs say outraged or upset by someoneÕs behavior (or an
organization, our government) - instead of thinking through how to influence we
kind of blurt out something in the moment that makes things worse. Kind
of like giving an order instead of a making a persuasive requestÉ and how well
does this work? It doesnÕt! Why? Because, intelligent people
will not respond to orders or directs to be different. ÒNever tell a man
he is wrong É for it polarizes him and makes him more fixed in his
positionÓ - How to Win Friends and Influence People, D. Carnegie.
So, to be effective,
since we often only get one chance, and we donÕt want to destroy our
credibility, consider the following. Take the time to slow down, prepare
and address the following:
1) OFFER
someone a big enough Compelling Reason to Change (reasons that they value)!
2) ALIGN
and Redirect to inspire movement toward this new position!
Why are these two
vital, you may ask?
Because the
foundation of communication is coming to Agreement! Agreement comes from
giving a powerful why (compelling reason) and using a style that people can say
yes to in a win win fashion via (align and redirect). If someone doesnÕt
have a compelling reason to change, they wonÕt! And if they are not
communicated to respectfully, they really wonÕt!
HENCE, to influence
anyone we must Align, meaning connect (build strong rapport), accept them and
understand them. Understand them by knowing your MBTI style and theirsÉ
and flex in order to align and enter someoneÕs world – to best serve
them.
Then, based on your
understanding, Redirect, meaning share a request or suggestion with enthusiasmÉ
using both emotional and logical persuasion (or an Influence style that is
pertinent, see box 1 below), that will lead to win-win. After, ask if
this is what they want and then ask if they can agree to take a step forward
with the idea.
Again, know your
style and theirsÉ flex in order to enter someoneÕs world to best serve
them. Then put it out there. My request isÉ
does this make senseÉ. Is this agreeable? After studying and using this for over 20 years I can
say with conviction that the process of Align and Redirect is the foundation of
Influence. There is always a way
to find a win-win. In this way youÕre
helping, not manipulating.
What if someone
objects? Then again, align and redirect. The spirit of this
is: Yes andÉ. Never say: No,
but. This negates. Instead, Align
again.. Yes, I understand and again
redirect with another twist. Reframe the perspective: The spirit of this is: I
appreciate, I agree, I understandÉ and ÉÉAsk them to try the new
approach for 90 days and see.
á
Reason - is the
strategy of attempting to influence your subordinates by relying on data and
information to support your requests. It involves planning, preparation, and
expertise on your part.
á
Friendliness - is the
strategy of attempting to influence your subordinates by causing them to think
well of you.
á
Bargaining - is attempting
to influence your subordinates by means of negotiation and the exchange of
benefits or favors.
á
Assertiveness - is an attempt
to influence your subordinates by means of your forceful manner.
á
Coalition is the strategy
of mobilizing other people in the organization to assist you in influencing
your subordinates.
á
Appeal to higher authority - As a strategy
of influence relies on the chain of command—people higher up in the
organization who have power over your subordinates.
á
Sanctions - is the use of
the power inherent in the organization to back up your requests to your
subordinates
Advanced Influence
Techniques:
á
ASK: 10% of people will say yes,
just because you ask (especially if you do it with a smile)
á
Because Frame. Do this because it
is good for you and meÉ yes?
á
As If. I know you donÕt know, but if you did
what would it be?
á
Contrast: For just 10cents a day is it worth if
to change a life?
á
Social Proof: According to your favorite ball player Joe,
this is the way to goÉ lets see if itÕs great for you too?
á
Commitment and Consistency: Ask small yes-no questions
with the focus on getting lots of small yesesÉ over time the small start to
create the big yes.
á
Reciprocation: We have done all this workÉ and given
our all to support youÉ can we have your trust as your primary vendor?
More on this in
Chapter 10 (Discipline 2, pg 168-), ÒThe Way of the Corporate ShamanÓ. Or in the article on
Communication Mastery.
Best to you,
Bill
William Jason OÕMara
Author, The Way of the
Corporate Shaman
Bill@CorporateShamanWay.com
About the
Author: William Jason OÕMara, Ph.D., has been a
pioneer in the personal growth movement for many years and is considered one of
AmericaÕs most gifted leadership teachers. He is president of Corporate Shaman
Way – an Institute for Leadership Studies. He has an advanced degree in
Psychology as well as certifications in Naam Yoga, Neuro-Linguistic Programming
and Holistic Health, and he is a Reiki Master. His book, The Godspell
Solution, is considered a modern day philosophical classic. His epic book, The
Way of the Corporate Shaman, is a breakthrough in the genre of spirituality
in business. He has led workshops, Mastermind groups, community retreats, and
gatherings in New York, San Diego and all over the USA for the past 10 years
sharing his business expertise and the native American wisdom he learned during
his time with the renowned native American Òspirit callerÓ Speaking Wind. He is an award-winning corporate
speaker and is available for select speaking engagements and consultations.